That’s exactly how you will feel if you already been in this place for quite some time…lifeless…u might think that i am exagerating or just being a drama queen or ungrateful and so on…

Yes indeed i might am, but still sitting here in my room on my 1 and only off day in the past 10 days, i can’t help myself to think ‘what the hell am i doing here?’

Ofcourse if you say that i have to remember that so many poeple in this world are much miserable than me, but still doesn’t make me really full of life…makes me feel like an ungrateful bitch yes…but doesn’t make me feel better.

I do have very good BF, I do have job ( i dare not to say ‘good job’), have a nice salary which i can still do or buy what i want..of course with limit. But still..everyday work..go home..no nice food, no nice weather, no entertainment beside your BF and friends ( which are gradually gone, one by one)…living in this place is just killing me.

Work became your life…life became you work…and gradually became you nigthmare

SUPER superficial society, SUPER hypocrite environment, SUCKS food, NO leisure, LIVING in this small box where everybody watching you… NO FREEDOM neither to speak nor to act…

 

From an over enthusiatic and idealistic girl…i am gradually became a lifeless whinnning zombie

i often questioning myself…IS IT ME? OR IS IT THIS PLACE??

CAN I CHANGE THIS???!!!can i became ‘alive’ again?

can i be that girl again? who loves what she does, enthusiatic about what she does, tired but happy with what she accomplished and so passionfull with what she does???!!!

can i be anything else but this lifeless doll??

 

yes i can……….

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